random thoughts...

today is the thirthteenth of december... sabby's birthday and 2 more days to my day. haha. and im lost in a sea of thoughts... alot of thoughts.

im worrying about my results. just clicked to check but there are not out yet.. yep, today i will know if i clear that damned*** chemistry and material science. prayed. and REAllY want to pass. by faith, i will. God... HELP!!!

im worrying about my family's financial status. i cannot help to provide for my family which makes my heart ache. i long to lighten the load of papa but im still studying. everything needs money... flat mortgage, utilities bills, groceries... sigh. alot alot. right now, im slping without lights and contemplated slping without fan last night. God... HELP!!!

im worrying about myself. i couldnt slp last night... coz i was thinking about him. and soon, i started crying... from sobs to weeps. even i do not know why i cried. really. i don't miss him. but whenever i think back, i will think that he cannot survive without me. i will start to sympathise with him... but this is wrong. my heart is in a struggle.. over what? seriously... i don't know. God... HELP!!!

im worrying about accounting. tomorrow is my second quiz. i really want to do well. really really. after i took my first quiz and getting my results for it, i felt very stupid. as in really very gong like i don't know what is going on in class. to be honest, it's quite true. i don't exactly understand. and to make things worse.. i feel like everyone else does.. all but me. i start to think maybe im not cut out for accounting... but oh mann! i feel like scolding myself, who is born knowing everything??? we gotta learn! 10 more days to my exam. why on earth did i land myself up in this fix? but i know in my heart that when i look back at myself today in the future, i will not regret my choice. girls, pray for me. and God... HELP!!!

im going to school now. studying in the computer lab. and i will be back tonight to watch shan nian te gong dui with you eibby. and i AM SO EXCITED for wednesday.

i love you girls
and God... i love you too.


Monday, December 13, 2004.10:35 AM