The thought of losing you...

i told myself i am going to blog this down, so here i am.
well.. alot of things happened in these one week or so... or rather one thing happened and led to another.. ha. but i am really thankful to God, for now i know the strength of this friendship.. :)

i didn't know i would be so affected too. i was REALLY REALLY at my wit's ends.. coz i didn't know what to do! i think i will just type what my mind thinks of now.. so it's going to be in bits and pieces.. but i assure you, these are all my true feelings.

at first i wondered to myself, why am i so affected? then slowly i came to the conclusion that it's because you girls matter ALOT to me. really alot... i know i am very silly.. but thoughts like is this spelling the end of our friendship, what am i going to do, am i supposed to find new friends came to my mind. i know this sounds so absurd, like im taking it too far.. but it's true.. these thoughts were really going through my mind... when i opened my eyes in the morning, before i sleep at night.. i would be thinking to myself... how? what am i to do?

i just kept eveything to myself.. and this really made things worse and i can't share with anyone coz the people i share my darkest secret with are the people involved.. so i was really feeling very lousy. again, i want to stress that i am not purposely trying to show some kind of attitude or what.. so if that's what i protrayed, im here to say sorry. really, i am sorry.

and now.. i am very very glad that i did tell you all afterall.. i thank God that there is no secret between us and everything is back to normal. He really does great wonders.. i thank God for your assurance.. coz i really needed that. really.

to me, you girls are very special. always there when i needed you all. no special effort taken to explain things that other people wouldnt understand. sharing common interests. thank you.

i thank God for this experience.. now i learn not to take anyone for granted.

love you girls..


Thursday, December 02, 2004.7:00 PM