The Tabernacle Encounter

14th to 16th January was a weekend like none other…

It was a weekend that I encountered God, a weekend that God spoke to me… in a place called the Tabernacle.

Initially, I didn’t want to go for it… because I was far away from God and it became a habit… that I didn’t want to hear from Him, hear about Him and I didn’t want to pray. hahah, in other words, it was quite a deadly attack.

But I went. I don’t regret going for it… because it restored me, restored my faith. Thank you God.

At first, I didn’t feel anything even during worship. That would always be the time when I engage with God and feel a lot of emotions… and naturally, tears will flow… but this time round, I didn’t… and I didn’t feel very good… because I wanted to feel God… I really miss that feeling.

So when the time came to enter the Tabernacle, I was thinking in the back of mind… that I will be in and out in a jiffy because there won’t be anything that I will feel and struggle coz I just can’t feel Him.

But I was wrong.

I stepped in and sat down. Then I started talking to God… and tears just started flowing. I have no idea why. Nothing was bothering me… then I realize that the presence of God was so strong that it couldn’t be helped and so I teared… it felt really good to know that God was there and God was real.

I moved on and at the Laver, where I had to do the symbolic act of washing my hands before entrance, it was said that we should sit down and ask God to sanctify us… asking Him to cleanse us of our sins and to hide His word in our heart for protection. And so I started thinking… do I have anything “major” to clean up? And then, something just flashed across my mind… something quite personal so I can’t really say it out… but it is something that I had once constantly struggled with… and so I started praying and asking God to tell me what to do… then I waited for God to tell me what to do… and then, a song just came to me…

Empower me, like a rushing river flowing to the sea. Lord send your holy spirit flowing now through me, till I’m living as a child, victorious and free, send the power of your love, empower me…

God, thank you. I learn that temptations to sin will always be a constant struggle and that whenever the situation arises, I will pray for you to empower and strengthen me.

I felt good and I moved on…

Stepped in to the inner courts and sat down at the golden lampstand. It was a place for God to answer any questions that I had or to tell me any decisions to make…

and so I asked God… “God, what do you want out of me and Melvyn?” and then I waited and waited and waited… I don’t know how long I sat down there for but God didn’t give me any answer… maybe because I wasn’t still in His presence and so I couldn’t hear what He was trying to tell me. I was very disappointed but I thought that maybe God doesn’t want to tell me the answer now because it isn’t time…

I moved on… and when I reached the altar of incense and just at the moment I sat down, my watch fell to the ground. I looked at where it was and to my greatest surprise, it snapped.

My adidas watch snapped.

Oh my God… the link fell out and the chain was disconnected from the clock face… God, are you trying to tell me something? The watch was the first birthday present from Melvyn… sigh, my heart feels so pricked… is this really what you want? Just at this moment when I feel like I really do feel for him. God, if this is really what you want, then so be it.

I decided to chuck the answer aside and continued praying. The banner that hung in front said, God is my healer… something like that… so I thought here is the place where I deal with my past hurts. But I always thought that I was very very very blessed because I haven’t really been hurt very badly in life before. And even if I had been, they had always been resolved very very quickly and I would be ok in no time. Thank God for this Joy that I experience. So I told God, “God ar, I don’t know how to pray because I think I am very happy about my life, about how you have constantly blessed it…” then I didn’t know how to pray already. Then pastor came to me and prayed for me… she said,”Ziyun, the Lord wants to tell you that He is very pleased with you…”

God, how real can you get? Thank you…

Finally, I went into the holy of holies. Sorry God but my first impression was, chey! Nothing much except for an ark in front of the room. And ppl were all resting in the room.

I sat down and didn’t know what to do… there was nothing to pray or say… so I lay down and rest. And fell asleep. And when I woke up, wau… I didn’t know I slept for so long… about an hr plus… but I didn’t experience the peace that others felt… maybe I wasn’t still.

But God, I still want to thank you for this wonderful experience. I just hope that you would continue to tell me what to do… make me the old Ziyun… you get what I mean.


Monday, January 17, 2005.7:21 PM