alot of things in me.

time flies.

4 weeks have passed with me having to serve in the hospitality team (HT) in church.

i cant say it was great. coz i don have alot to do. in fact, it was rather slack.

it didnt feel like i served.

sometimes i wonder if im born to labour all my life. haha. u know in chinese it is called lao lu ming.

as you are reading this, maybe you are thinking.. zee leh! so slack, how can it be?

but i realise that.. all these times that i have been working in Omron.. i was always craving for more work. and more work. i didnt like the idea of being free.

so grace asked me.. "aye, you lao lu ming is it?"

that was how it occurred to me. maybe in areas that im passionate about... ha.

so i realised i like responsibilities. and the more responsibilities i have, the better i perform. weird. but true.

so back to my hospitality team duty.. i didnt feel like i did much.. as compared to the other leaders.. but i thank God..

that i was given this chance to serve, albeit in a small way.

that i was give the opporunity to know more people. and know them better.

that i learnt that when you serve, you don't choose where to serve. Where God calls me, i go. period.

sometimes.. i get blinded by wanting to perform.. to gain the favour of human.

then God will remind me.. what for?

your treasures are stored in heaven.

i rmb one occasion.. my IA fren, kim, was very very stressed up at work. so as she was sharing her burden with me, she started tearing..

after work, soon leng msged me and asked me how she was.. so i explained and stuff, and said she will be fine.. yadah yadah..

and soon leng's one message.. brought me all the way down.

"she will be fine i think.. she's quite bright..."

immediately i thought.. what about me?

i was sad. so i asked God.. to take that feeling away from me..

then He reminded me..

why do you want the recognition from other people? isnt it enough that i know?

i felt so much better at once. thank God.

and there was another time.. when serving in the HT.. one pastor came past me and my team.. and asked one of my gals for her name.. and then he said.. "XXX, good. very good.."

and sigh, i got that feeling again. what about me? im the leader somemore.. : (

then i rmb what God said.

please God. and no one else.

im learning. more and more about myself.

God bless me.. to be a blessing to all around me. : )

pls: reading xiaxue's blog makes me wanna go on a cruise!!!!!!!!!

so many things have been happening.

thinking..
how should i blog everything down? i think if i report every single event, you guys would be bored to tears. haha. but then.. i think.. i will put down whatever i want to, afterall, it is my blog. haha. : )

G12 conference has finished!

i rmb what mom said one year.. that she was very disappointed by a past G12 conference because she expected to hear something new.. but then the sessions that were taught were what she heared before. and likewise, the G12 conference this year.. many stuff were repeated.. but the way that God touches and speaks, it is very refreshing each time. it is so new.. and the feeling is great.

and what i took home from the conference this year.. it finally sank into me.. that we are to serve the nations. it is not a cliche.. it is real. the people out there.. the people that havent even heard about God.

and God.. i really want to go on a mission trip this year.

where?
when?
how?

God.. i know you will tell me.

i am really experiencing the happiest times of my life now. at least that is what i feel. God.. thank you.

everyday, i look forward to work. i never overslept, i leave house earlier and earlier day by day so that i can reach the office earlier to do my work. i look at my watch only to feel a twinge of sadness when i see that 515pm is coming.

my saturdays, i sleep in. and try as far as possible to spend time with my family.

and my weekends are better. i go to church. and i get to meet God. everytime.

i am really so happy.. God, thank you thank you thank you.

i know that you are slowly revealing my future to me. and as i look back at my past, i know that God.. you took care to craft it the way you want it.. so that i am prepared for what is to come.

when i go back to school in august this year, it will be the start of my final year. and of course, the milestone would be the so-major-and-crucial final year project.

i have been giving much thought to it.. thinking about.. who should i partner with? which NTU tutor? what project?

alot of question marks.. alot of unknowns.. unknowns that i cannot solve myself.

then lo and behold, God blessed me.

to give you a little bit of background.. there are a few kinds of final year projects. ok, 5 to be exact.

the most common one is when students browse through the projects available and approach the tutor who is in charge of the project. so there and then, it would be confirmed and the student would work under the NTU tutor.

there is another kind that is called ISP - Industry Sponsered Project. as you can tell from the name, it has to do with the industry. for this kind of project, i would have to source for my own company, approach them to create a project for me to undertake. or to take on an existing one. and the company would then submit the proposal to NTU and wait to see if there would be any NTU tutor that would be interested to take it up.

the rest not important.. ahaha.. coz i want to undetake an ISP! with omron! the company that i am currently attached to.

then at the back of my mind, i started thinking.. will they want me? im not exactly the smartest kid around.. and would they want me sticking with them for another year?

so i prayed. and asked God to bless me. with favour.

then i went up to my attachment supervisor.. and told him about it. and he said, he cannot make any decisions.. coz it must go through the managerial level.

wah! nervouss~!! when he went to speak to the manager whom i am directly under.. i was saying to God.. God, help help help. and i was crossing my fingers.

then soon leng (my IA supervisor) came back. and grinned his grin.

God just blessed me with a company! and to make things better, it was the company that i am so happy working for.

i was so happy. really so happy.

i went to the toilet. closed the door. and couldnt stop smiling and thanking God.

the next thing was to to wait to see if any tutors from NTU would respond to the proposal.

so soon leng asked me.. what about your NTU attachment tutor?

i went to check.. and guess what, that professor is from the division of communications. and my nature of the project? needless to say.. it is communications. double blessing.

and i also found out that my form tutor (the tutor that is like my form teacher in school) is also from the division of communicatiosn. and he is one real nice old man. if my attachment tutor isnt interested in the project, i still got him to contact! triple blessing.

then i saw my favourite professor's picture. he was also from the division of communications!! WAH GOD~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! quadruple blessing.

thank you LEHHHHH~!!!!!!!!!

im so sorry if you find this entry so irrelevant to you.. haha..

all in all, im just thanking God la. : )

tmr is week 10 of my attachment.. it is the week that my NTU tutor will come over to omron to access me.

so.. pls pray~!! haha, thank you. the accessment is of HEAVY weightage. i may be good and stuff at work on normal days.. but if i fail to impress on the day he visits, im as good as dead.

but i know that.. im just gonna relax. and leave it to God.

my future is in God's hands. so.. why worry?

im running a winning race.

haha, im contradicting myself.

more like im pyschoing myself.

breathe in.. breathe out.

ok, it is all going to be fine. : )

right and gals.. haha, we shld go and chill at the hongkong cafe in kovan. the yuan yang is nice! : )

everyone, pls be fine! love you~~~~!!!!!!

as the date drew nearer, my heart beat faster everytime i think about it. the butterflies in the stomach got more... and they flew at greater speed..

but last night when i went to bed, there was smile etched on my face.

and this morning when i woke up, the smile was still there.

you know something?

im really happy. : )

i know it may just be a very casual contest and stuff, but im still really happy. : )

there were 7 contestants and we had to sing on the stage in the room. surprisingly, i was more nervous in Kpubs then in front of everyone..

and so we sang. i was number 5, after me, is xiao xin. he is good. except that he likes to do imitating instead of singing using his real voice. he did an andy lau.. woah. HA.

oh yeh, just in case u are wondering, i didnt sing "ni ba wo guan zui". i never practise that and so for a competition, i should do what i do best right? so i did my safest - xie yi shou ge. HAHA. it doesnt go wrong : ) yeah!

and very quickly when everyone finished, the judges (ie the audience) had to give their vote. there were 12 votes to be taken... so when they were done, the votes were read out in front of everyone. HAH, it felt like survivor! cept that when your name is called.. it is something good. heh.

first vote - joy (yeah!)
2nd vote - adrian aka xiao xin
3rd vote - irene
4th vote - roger
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and it went on like this...

in the end, xiao xin got 4 votes..
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i got 5!!!

so in other words...
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i got first!!!!!!!!!! YEAH~!!!!! THANK GOD! : ) hehe..
and so i got $150! haha. but then it is NTUC vouchers la.. more practical i guess.. haha. i was happy! but i think zeemama would be happier! thank God for this blessing.

then still got lucky draw somemore.. and i got another $50! haha, so in total i received $200 worth of NTUC stuff. : ) hehe. (as im typing this, im suddenly reminded about the free one year supply of rice that i "won".. (-_-)''')

and that was how it went la.. haha. singing was great on stage. but when u sing without pressure, it is soooooooooooooo much better. coz after that i sang ni ba wo guan zui.. and mann~! i shld have done that song. haha.

oh yah, before i went to Kbox after work, i was talking to my supervisor - soon leng. and so i said..

me: "eh, u know who the judges are today?"
he: "er, donno.. who?"
me: "audience.. " (then i shot him the look coz i have been psychoing him to go since the beginning of time... and he is still not going.)
he: "oh..........." (and he grinned..)

then at Kbox.. i got an sms from him.. haha.

"gd luck 4 e contest, pls shw tis vote to e audience /( " )/ "

cute right? my sup.. HAHa..

and so when i won, i msged u gals.. and him.. and im getting a free lunch on monday. HAHA. : )

i think u gals shld know about my attempts in the past to sing in public. ie in front of ppl i don really know. all started with AJ guitar concerts.. i rmb. 3 times and for ALL, i couldnt sing because i would always have a last min sore throat. then came the audition thingy at heerens.. also bad.

then i made up my mind. i think God is showing his disapproval.. so i shld just sing in my happy little corner.. with u gals at KTV (when we have our own concerts, HAHa) and maybe.. in my bathroom.

so this time round.. before it started, i told God..

God, if i don have a sore throat this time now and nothing conks up.. i take it as an OK..

and i won. : )

my colleagues said.. join superstar! HAHA.. actually, i also want. but in the back of mind, i know.. that there are soooooooooooooooooooooo many ppl out there who can sing so well. but do i really want to be a superstar if i can? i don't know..

but in all cases, i told them if i ever join, they must vote for me. haha. they naturally agreed. : )

then TC came to talk to me.. he asked me.. why don't you try singing at mu chuan? that one...... i know i REALLY WANT!

you know.. having your own stage, singing away.. it's like being a singer.. minus the celebrity part.. it's great. it's really great.

but, where and how do i get started?

that's my name
also known as joy
enthusiastic
animated
extreme
loud
clumsy

my bb
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to be employed!
to clear my debts
to live happily ever after (:

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